Define:Geek

(1) Geek has always had negative connotations within society at large, where being described as a geek tends to be an insult. The term has recently become less condescending, or even a badge of honor, within particular fields and subcultures; this is particularly evident in the technical disciplines, where the term is now more of a compliment denoting extraordinary skill.

(2) A carnival performer who performs grotesque acts, such as biting the heads off of live chickens.

Levels of Geekiness.

Wanna-be / Beginner Geek
First-time computer buyers or closet computer users. Beginner Geeks don't necessarily have to own a computer of their own. Here are some signs that mean you're a Wanna-be Geek:

• Took things apart as a child to see how they worked
• Have always had some interest in electronic devices
• Were fascinated by how the television remote control worked
• Can program the family VCR
• Enjoy trying to teach yourself how to use things
• Often play with your friends' computers
• Can't get enough of the computer lab at school or work

Intermediate Geek

• Enjoy telling people about how you searched the Web for 3 hours last night to find the best deal on kangaroo burgers
• Have friends who constantly ask you questions relating to anything electronic and believe whatever answers you give them
• Have written your own computer programs
• Write some of your correspondence in Notepad or VI
• Know how to code HTML in a text editor
• Never turn off your computer

Advanced Geek

• Enjoy telling people about how you reprogrammed the remote control on your keyring to unlock your house, turn on the coffee maker, and start up the computer
• Don't believe in reading manuals for anything electronic
• Believe that ANYTHING can be fixed
• Buy expensive electronic toys and try to integrate them with other electronic gadgets, often breaking them beyond repair in the process (and being happy about it!)
• Know all about how to register a domain name and how the Internet functions
• Your monitor is bigger than your television--if you even have a TV
• Have more than one computer, and they are always on
• Have a network in your house

Super Geek

• Sit at home in your underwear playing on your computers until the wee hours of the morning, EVERY morning
• Would rather sit at your computers eating wine and cheese than go out on a date
• Would not only happily accept the prospect of being fully integrated with your computer, you'd also figure out how to hack your way to the top of the waiting list
• CAN fix anything
• Type faster than you think
• Spend more time online than around people
• Can't understand why there are some people who can't build their own computer from scratch
• Don't believe in viewing the Web with graphics--Lynx is the only Web browser you'll ever need
• Use a text editor--not a word processor--to write all correspondence
• Never, ever, ever, ever wear a suit
• Believe that only suckers pay fees--barter for free 'Net connection, use free OS, use freeware for your software, make phone-calls over the Web, and you've got a friend at the cable company, because, after all--money buys hardware.